wrvrnndfrtchrs

It had been a long and tiring day, and we were finally glad to be back in the coziness and silence of the office. I had his bags and documents which I went to arrange on the correct shelves, and sat on his chair, beckoning me to take the one opposite.

“So, David, what is your assessment of the events that took place today?” he asked, and it was clear he wasn’t testing me; he really wanted to know what I thought.

“Well Sir, it seems the majority of the Council did not take to our proposal as we had hoped. I suspect they understand and see the merits of our plan, but are driven by some hidden agenda. The plebs are obviously on our side but too afraid to act. We might have to go around the Council or act upon the plan ourselves, at great cost.”

“I agree with you wholly,” he said, and removed his glasses. I’d expected to see tired eyes, for him to rub the bridge of his nose and perhaps sigh. That’s what anyone would’ve done.

Instead I saw as clear as day, the fire in his gaze, and not a trace of fatigue. It was as good as a costume change, him taking off his glasses; just a new look to carry on working with.

“You’ve had a long day, and we’ll have a lot more to do tomorrow. Why don’t you go on ahead, and we’ll meet back here at 8 tomorrow. Send my regards to your father too, I remember he was due to arrive home not a few hours ago.”

“Yes Sir. You’ve had a long day too, I hope you have a good rest,” I said, not yet standing.

“A good rest, yes, but not quite yet. I’d like to look into some matters,” he said with a simple smile.

I hesitated for a second, then spoke.

“Sir, if I might be so bold to ask, how do you keep it up? You’ve spent so much, in time and effort and money, and it’s been such a tedious effort, but you don’t look tired. You don’t seem discouraged. I don’t understand,” I said, unaware that my brows were knitted and I was leaning forward a bit.

He gave a wide smile and there was s twinkle in his eye.

“I suppose, young man, because I’m living my purpose. I truly believe in what I’m doing and am wholly dedicated to it. Every step of the way i find enjoyment and fulfilment. And prayer. Pray a lot, ask for help and guidance constantly. We are ever in need of His Mercy and Strength.”

I couldn’t help but smile. I knew it was the truth. It was so simple. I guess I’d known it all along, but I just had yo hear it.

“I see. Thank you, Sir. And goodnight,” I said with a small bow, then left.

::weareeverinneedofourteachers

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nnlnrtm

My friends, the cats.

*

There are no lines, just different shades along a gradient. Yet within all the chaos and uncertainty we hang onto our version of order.

*

If death were a social construct then perhaps a hermit in a secluded area with severe amnesia, might live forever. There would be no thought of death in his mind, and none of it from others to invite it to his door.

::nonlineartime

nghtshd

It’s funny how we don’t fulfil our obligations towards God and then complain about things that are lacking in our lives.

The void fills itself when we fill our hearts with His remembrance, by using our bodies in obedience.

*

Easier said than done.

*

It’s important to cry sometimes.

*

Hey it’s not like you did a bad job, you’re just not good enough. Don’t take it personally though, I mean no offence. Now get out.

*

Sometimes we need to stop consuming and just make something. By the way babies definitely count but I’d move them far down the list for most people.

*

Everybody who’s anybody just wants to be misunderstood and lonely and different and Oh so angry all the time.

*

Most people don’t realize how pointless their existence is.

*

When I look at photos of Earth I get emotional. It’s our home, we live off it, and for awhile more at least there just isn’t anywhere else that we have. I feel like crying when I think how much we’ve misused and mistreated it. Little blue marble. I love you so much.

::nightshade

rvrsblty

“What ails him?”

“Youth.”

*

Waking up and immediately going back to sleep feels better than being asleep.

*

Of all the furred animals, we have the least on our faces.

::reversibility

grttd

Here are some of the small things in life that I truly enjoy but might not express enough gratitude for:

  • The smell of roasted coffee beans.
  • The ozone smell before it rains.
  • The crinkle of a crisp paper bag.
  • The smell of new books, old books, and library books.
  • A perfectly crunchy and golden brown fried chicken nugget.
  • Drinks that are sweet, cold and bonus points if they’re gassy.
  • A cat when it’s curled into a little ball of fur and sleeping soundly.
  • Jumping into the sea.
  • How the sky looks just after sunrise. It’s bright and full of promise, with plenty of hours before dark.
  • When you talk to someone and you get a whiff of their minty-clean toothpaste-smelling breath and you can see their teeth are white and so clean. I really do appreciate good oral hygiene.
  • The feeling of lying down on crisp linen on your comfortable bed, the pillow soft and fluffy, and you are clean and dry and ready to sleep and it’s still early and you’ve had a good and productive day.
  • Getting ready to board a flight.
  • Reading a book and concluding happily that its as good as its cover.
  • You’re ready to pay for something when you get an unexpected discount.
  • Opening your mailbox to see a few letters and maybe a small parcel.
  • Arriving leisurely at the bus stop just a moment before the bus arrives.
  • All green lights as you drive.
  • Being able to go back to sleep.

::gratitude

whtdyttndt

When a loved one dies, the world will treat you all the same, but you will look at it differently.

:: whatdoyouattendto

btwcnbknd

Sometimes it feels like underneath its shell of beauty, this life is just a mixture of sadness and pain.

:: butwecanbekind

glb

So sad and so beautiful,
The sunset would be her goodbye.
“May this day never end.”

*

I awoke sometime at midnight, for no reason, and something didn’t feel right. I heard the lock to the door click, then a creak as it swung open. There were no footsteps or sounds. Eventually i gathered some courage and picked something up as a weapon; don’t recall what it was. I made my way slowly to the living room, acutely aware of how loud my breathing and heart sounded in my head. I was expecting an ugly and scary monster to jump out in front of me; that would’ve been shocking but expected.

Instead when i turned the corner, all i saw was a pair of wet footprints just in front of the door. Nothing else.

*

It’s always the funniest people who are the saddest inside. It’s easier to convince someone that you’re okay when you can crack them up. Unfortunately you can’t lie to yourself the same. The emptiness and darkness stays with you, slips right back in to fill the gap that opened the moment that person you were talking to walks away.

*

Life is messy, ugly, unforgiving and ultimately pointless, but also an undeniable gift.

*

I do dangerous things because i’m starting to believe everyone who keeps telling me i’m too soft, and that scares me.

*

How is it love if you become unimportant the moment your utility vanishes?

*

Every night i dread falling asleep because it would mean a day has come to a close and still i have made no progress. But then i wake up the next day, exhausted, and unwilling to face another tedious and hopeless day. When i’m awake i don’t want to sleep and when i’m asleep i don’t want to wake up. I’m not sure i want to live but i don’t want to die.

But i won’t ask for help, i’m too tired to bother.

::glib

cmts

You begin your journey out of loneliness by first being alone.

*

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and check my own pulse. Then i will feel relieved that no one would have to go through the hassle and awkwardness of reporting me dead on a work day.

*

Not all your embarrassing moments disappear from others’ minds. I still remember the face of a stranger who had his fly down, my friend’s embarrassing fall, and a whole host of other things. It’s just up to us to protect these secrets as much as we’d like others to protect ours.

::comatose

prctcmksbttr

I left the sun behind,
As my spirit fled and my body followed.

*

All it took was a tiny spark and the demon came to life, glowing hot, snaking out from my heart and into the tips of my being. It was scary but empowering, exciting but guilt-ridden.

*

As i stretched in my seat i could feel my muscles settling, comfortable and ready to rest. But my mind was too awake; rather, my heart still dissatisfied with the day. I could not go to sleep until i had done something worthwhile.

*

I’m writing because this is the only way to get good at it. I’ll probably look back to this one day and cringe, then delete it, but for now i’m satisfied enough with the knowledge that this process is necessary. I do really want to get good at this, so i must dedicate more time and effort to it.

*

It’s hard to be happy again when you’ve already said your final goodbye.

*

There is a balance that must be kept in this life, and we are powerless to go against it.

*

Another sad day has passed, and the coming weeks will probably be the same. The one thing that truly bothers me though is i don’t know when it all began.

*

The king lay peacefully in his coffin,
his loyal knight ever vigilant by his side.

*

Even in your sleep you bring joy to my heart.

*

His outward appearance was monstrous but the children flocked towards him nonetheless because they were still at that tender age where they could see through to his heart.

*

Losing something is bad; not being grateful for what you haven’t lost is worse.

*

Her perfume
made her seem more beautiful than she was.

*

He cut off their eyelids and bound their hands, so they would see and hear everything.

*

Some people think they are depressed when in fact their hearts have died.

*

In life, not everyone will experience hitting rock bottom, but we have the ability to put our backs up against the wall so we may then push undoubtedly forward.

*

It had all the parts of a man, but hideous and in the wrong places.

*

The injured demon lay helpless, and then it made a noise that was unquestionably laughter.

*

His legs were bent the wrong way. He had only his broken arms to drag his dying body across the field. He was still too far to see that the hospital had been destroyed.

*

The soldier marches bravely on,
whilst at home his mother quietly weeps.

*

It was a hot meal but he could not eat it, not after seeing the state his neighbour was in.

*

It tried to imitate the sounds we made but could only manage some odd clicking, before it grimaced in obvious pain.

*

The night sky
is never truly dark.

::practicemakesbetter