sdnsspt2

And then I realised that sadness ISN’T permanent nor the underlying reason behind everything.

That would be love.

It is because of love that we mourn a loss. A love of our ideals makes us dedicated to them and angry at those who insult them.

It is, after all, love, that is the reason behind us even existing in the first place.

I’m out of the dark pit. For now…! (and forevermore, perhaps?)

::sadnesspart2

::

sdnss

Sometimes the overwhelming desire of the day is to scream my lungs out crying, and/or to shout and thrash about and destroy everything. Mostly the former, but it never materialises. Always lingers there just at the edge of Things I’m Gonna Do.

My life isn’t sad, but life is. Maybe existence is a journey of sadness. Triumphs and joys fizz out after awhile but losses are permanent. Our loved ones who have gone, stay gone. There are people and animals hurting and suffering, sometimes in silence.

We go about our days doing meaningless things for lousy reasons only for it all to end one day, and then hardly anyone learns to do better. The earth is more sick than before, and humanity has more shiny gadgets and amazing technology that we don’t even understand… But at times it seems we as a community have regressed.

The wave of darkness isn’t permanent. Work and pain and cats distract me for a bit, but then the bleakness washes over again. Some days I’m not sad, I’m just okay.

I know I have nothing to be sad about, I just am. The same way the appendix is seemingly useless but we have it anyway. It just is. I don’t know where it came from or when, but now I know for a fact that it sits with me.

Pain is life and life is pain but I guess underlying it all, life is sadness (but sometimes hidden).

::sadness

flngptrtc

If it ever comes down to it, I will put my life on the line for my homeland.

Yes, I’ve heard people gripe and speak hateful words about some of our people who conduct themselves in a most unpleasant and irresponsible manner. There will always be such people everywhere.

But there are hundreds, no, thousands more whom are dear to me. My family, friends, neighbours, or even just a friendly face. These people are worth much more than the undesirable crowd.

So if I were to fight, I’d fight for them.

::feelingpatriotic

thtkndfhppycldshwnw

My strength was fading
As i lay on my bed

I closed my eyes
As they rolled back in my head

She thought me asleep
When in fact i was dead

*

Panic healing
Never felt so good to me

*

Hello, i want to talk to you
It is my hope that you want to talk, too

::thatkindofhappyicouldshownow

nddrnk

I stay up all night and then when i finally go to bed i don’t want to wake up.

*

Is a person’s love for you enough a reason for you to love them back?

*

For all the promise of adventure and strangeness, space turned out to be incredibly empty and boring.

*

I was happy and going somewhere, then i woke up and i have not stopped being miserable since.

*

They had a pipe connected to the lower end of their gullets, just before the stomach, to channel food out. That way they could eat and eat till they got bored, then close the diverging flap and eat to finally fill their stomachs.

*

I don’t know but i don’t care because i can’t feel.

*

So many of the funniest and cheery people turn out to be really sad inside. Maybe they do that for others in the hope that the next person would at least feel less of the pain they feel; or maybe someone else’s laughter is a short escape from the bleak landscape of their headspace.

::needadrink

rprt

People are amazing, wonderful creatures.

They can also be incredibly stupid, selfish and petty.

::airport

hm

Home is in the hands of the one whom you’ve given your heart.

::home

ybmb

Life is not guaranteed, but death is inevitable.

*

We are selective of what we do and what we do, we do well.

*

There is beauty in every facet of every moment.

*

If you’re alone, the ghost attacks you.

Bring a friend and the ghost will possess them.

Go in a group and the ghost will most likely possess one and try to split the group.

::yibambe

hdspc

My eye was watery for no apparent reason. It wasn’t red, i kept wiping it, and still it teared. The Sheikh said i was dehydrated. So i drank and drank, and true enough, my eye stopped tearing.

*

On the one hand you have a child who is grown, but treated like that hasn’t happened. Which is weird, because that person has already achieved so much, faced death, and is responsible over the lives of their men.

On the other hand you have a parent, who probably due to circumstances, had to be tough and controlling. Loving, yes, very much so, but still hasn’t let go of the string of the kite.

The child is trying to prove that they have made it, the parent is trying to assert their authority, they end up at loggerheads over the smallest of things.

I don’t know whose ego is bigger, nor how they can step around this huge boulder that’s in the way of their family’s peace of mind.

*

To find your purpose and live a fulfilling life, you must put in work. REAL work. Reading about finding your purpose and writing endless reflections don’t cut it; what really pushes you forward is the work that is sometimes painful, uncomfortable, and can’t be done from your chair. Go out and do things.

I need to go out and do things.

::headspace

ntytbstfrnds

1: Hey, Paul, I uh, I heard about what happened. You okay?

2: I’m fine. I don’t wanna talk about it.

1: Hey, you sure? It’s a pretty big thing.

2: Like I said, I’m fine.

1: It’s just that sometimes when people refuse to talk about something, it’s really cos it hurts to much and they’re trying to ignore it. They’re not actually fine.

2: I had a good breakfast this morning, but you know what? I don’t wanna talk about it. Is it somehow cos I’m bothered by it? No, it’s just cos I don’t want to talk right now. Does that clear things up?

1: Ouch. But… Yeah…

2: No, hang on, Michelle, it’s not you. It’s this project. Driving me nuts and I’ve got to put in the first draft by noon tomorrow.

1: Oh, right, sorry, should’ve realised. Ok you know what, I could help you with that right now. My stuff isn’t sure for a long while more.

2: I’d actually really appreciate that. Let’s go.

::notyetbestfriends