Subject H was the latest to enrol in our Prisoner Diagnosis and Rehabilitation Program, and here is an excerpt of the rather interesting experience I had interviewing him.
D stands for Doctor, yours truly.
– Start excerpt –
D: can you tell me who you killed
D: tell me
H: my parents
D: did you have a reason for killing them
D: tell me
H: it’s not so simple
D: maybe not, that’s alright. I’m listening
H: First you must know that I don’t hate my parents. I don’t hate anybody actually. Did you write that down?
D: no, I did not.
H: please write that down
H: because I’m not a bad person, and they need to know that
D: who are you referring to as ‘they’?
H: the people who will decide my sentence
D: fair enough, I’ll write it down. Remember too, this entire interview is recorded. Nothing will be lost. Can we continue?
D: please continue
H: as I grew older I realized and learnt more things about the world around me. For example, I finally understood why mother would not eat cheese no matter what. It puzzled me at first, but with age I truly understood how she felt.
I also realized the similarities my siblings and I had with each other and with my parents. There came a point when I would sometimes look at a sibling but instead of them, I saw the past of one or both parents. Do you understand?
D: I do. Please continue
H: it was when I entered my first serious relationship that I gained more insight into human relations. My ex was a good person, but there were things about her that I did not like at all yet could not change. For example, I did not like how she had detached earlobes. But she was born with that, so in all fairness I never made an issue of it. But then there were other things, some also by birth and some by choice, some others that I saw in her family which I later noticed in her, that I did not like. I didn’t tell her anything.
Then I began to question things seriously; if we got married, I would like to have children. But if they inherit any of those traits which I dislike, then I will always be reminded of them. And it would be painful. The child is innocent, a product of a defective parent. So then I concluded that my parents probably experienced the same thing.
The feelings got so intense, and I was met with a rush of pity for them. So I decided to end their suffering, so they would not have to face these things they dislike any more. I killed them.
D: I see. Did you ever test your theory with them?
H: how so?
D: did you ask them about the things they liked or not, and did you share your thoughts with them?
D: why not?
H: because they would never be honest with me. These are deep, dark secrets that most people keep to themselves or bury away
– End excerpt –
The interview went on for another two hours or so, and I must say, the deeper I dug into the psyche of Subject H, the more I got the unsettling feeling that… That he wasn’t mad or sick. That he was just extremely honest and well-meaning, but perhaps just a tad immature. Maybe even… More normal than us ‘regular’ adults who tend to hide feelings and lie to ourselves so much.
Oh, Subject H. What a strange experience.